You can't give up, that's the deal
by becky172
Summary: When driving to their wedding in 6x23 Castle is not kidnapped but is involved in a serious car accident. First fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

Kate picked up after the first ring.

'Is this Katherine Beckett speaking?'

'Yes, this is she.' Kate answered with a nervous edge to her voice.

The female voice on the phone then replied, 'I am Nurse Conway speaking from Southampton Hospital. A Mr Richard Castle has been brought in to the emergency department and you are his emergency contact.'

Kate stood there paralysed trying to find the words to ask whether Castle is ok. However, the nurse quickly informs her before she can form the words 'Mr Castle has suffered a major head injury with internal bleeding from a car crash and he is in critical condition.'

Upon this new information, Kate suddenly found the will to move and dropped the phone as she rushed out of the building. Calls followed her from Martha, Alexis and Lanie as to where she was going but Kate continued racing down the stairs because all she could think about was getting to the hospital as quickly as possible in order to be with Castle. Tears blurred Kate's vision as they poured down her cheeks and the dress also made her pace significantly slower than usual. She told the driver where she needed to go in a frantic tone and made sure that he knew how important it was for her to be there as soon as possible.

The car roared into action and took off along the large driveway. Kate did not look back but if she did she would have seen Martha, Alexis, Lanie, Ryan and Esposito piling into the boys' squad car following close on her tail. They had called the number back on Kate's phone and found out what had happened and were as eager as Kate to get to the hospital.

As Kate and her driver approached the hospital Kate tried to control her hysterical breathing and tried to keep telling herself 'he's going to be fine'. The message didn't work at calming her racing heart and when the car began to pull up at the entrance she was jumping out of the car before it even had a chance to stop. Kate hiked up her wedding dress to make it easier to move and didn't care what damage she was causing, she just needed to see Rick.

When Kate entered the hospital reception all eyes turned to look at her as it was not an everyday occurrence that a bride would arrive at a hospital in such a frenetic state. Kate ignored the looks and proceeded to the desk. Tear tracks were clearly visible down her face but Kate had been able to stop the flood of tears in order to try and put on a more professional demeanour instead of the desperation that she was feeling inside.

'I need to see Richard Castle.' Kate bluntly said to the receptionist who looked at her in shock. She took a few seconds before Kate couldn't take it anymore. 'Please, I need to see Richard Castle because you called and said he had been in a car crash. I'm supposed to be marrying him today.' The last few words came out stuttered as Kate tried to hold the sobs in.

The receptionist looked on the computer system and said, 'Ok, Mr Castle has been taken to surgery to try to stop the bleeding in his brain. If you want to take a seat in the surgical waiting room I will make sure someone comes to speak to you as soon as he is out of surgery.' The receptionist raises her hand in order to point in the general direction of the waiting room.

Kate steps back from the desk because she knows that this is all the receptionist will be able to tell her and when a comforting hand rests on her shoulder she turns to see Lanie's sad eyes looking at her.

'Kate, where is Dad. How is he?' Alexis asks frantically as she jumps out from behind Lanie.

'He is in surgery at the moment due to a brain bleed but that's all I know.' Kate lowers her head dejectedly as she knows nothing else to help the young redhead. Instead, she just pulls Alexis in for a hug which acts as a way to comfort her too.

Lanie interjected saying that she would go and try to find out some more information from the nurses and that they should move to the surgical waiting room so they could have some more privacy. Esposito and Ryan escorted the three women to the waiting room where everyone sat in silence. All were deep in their own thoughts as they hoped and prayed that Castle would be alright. Alexis sat between Martha and Kate on the uncomfortable plastic chairs holding hands with both the older women. Kate's grip was much stronger on Alexis as she tried to find a way to anchor herself and feel like she had to grasp onto any hope that Castle will be ok.

Ryan then stood and asked, 'would any of you like a drink or something to eat?'

Kate shook her head and didn't make eye contact with Ryan. Alexis softly mumbled a no in reply. Martha however sturdily said 'Thanks Ryan, would you be able to get us three coffees and some snacks because we might be here for a while and we want to be fully energised when Richard wakes up.'

Ryan nods in reply and heads out of the room for the cafeteria. Kate just thinks to herself why Martha can be so positive. On the other hand, on repeat in Kate's mind is the thought of the doctors coming in and telling Kate that Rick is dead and that she will never see him again. She can't keep these negative thoughts from spiralling in her head and just wishes that she had Castle there to hold her for comfort.


	2. Chapter 2

Before Ryan has returned with their drinks, Lanie has entered the waiting room carrying a plastic bag. All heads in the room shoot up and try to read her expression. Lanie looks towards the three women who are desperate to hear good news. Kate knows from the look in Lanie's eyes that what she is about to say is going to be bad. Tears begin forming in Kate's eyes and she clutches Alexis's hands even tighter within her own.

Lanie speaks up with a steady and calm voice. 'I spoke to one of the nurses that looked after Castle before he was taken to surgery. They say that there was a large bleed in the brain as well as other injuries mainly to his left side. The surgery should last another couple of hours. She doesn't know if Castle is going to make it or not.'

With that Kate lets out a large sob and brings her knees to her chest to try and contain them. Lanie moves forward in order to offer some comfort to her best friend by providing a shoulder to cry on. Alexis turns to Martha and buries her head in Martha's chest as tears pour down her face. Martha rests her chin on the young girl's head and allows a few tears herself to escape.

When Ryan returns to the room and sees the state that the women are in Esposito quickly informs him of what Lanie had found out. Ryan places the coffees onto the table and then heads out of the room in order to call Jenny to update her on the situation.

About ten minutes later Kate lifts her head from Lanie's shoulder in order to speak to Esposito.

'Javi, can you call Hamptons PD and find out what caused the car accident? Find me as soon as you know something.'

'Sure thing chica. I'll call Chief Brady as I'm sure he'll know something.'

'Thanks, Javi.' Kate replies quietly.

'Beckett, just stay strong. I know that Castle is going to be ok because he won't want me taking his Ferrari.' Esposito tries to inject some humour in the desolate room and Kate gives him a brief smile for the effort but it definitely doesn't reach her eyes. Esposito then turns and heads out to find out what caused the accident.

'Kate, I've got some clothes in this bag that you should change into because they will be more comfortable than the dress.'

'No Lanie. I'm fine. I need to wait here for when the doctors come out.' Kate replies stubbornly.

'Kate, they are not going to be speaking to us for a while and the bathroom is just around the corner. We can quickly change and be right back here within a few minutes.'

'Lanie I need to stay in case of any news.' Kate answers quietly but determinedly.

Martha then speaks up. 'Katherine, go and change so your dress doesn't get completely ruined. If anyone comes we will tell them to wait until you return so you can be here for any news.'

Kate slowly nods her head and rises from the chair. She doesn't have it in her to fight Martha on this too. Lanie follows her out of the room towards the toilet so Kate is not alone.

When they reach the bathroom tears begin falling down Kate's cheeks.

'Hey Sweetie, Rick is going to be ok and you will be able to get married soon. This is just a little bump in the road.' Lanie says as she wipes the tears from Kate's cheeks.

'But I always pictured Castle removing this dress with me as Mrs Castle.' Kate replies as the tears continue to fall.

'I know you did. And you are going to be Mrs Castle but you may have to wait just a bit longer.'

Kate nods but it is not the usual determined look in her eyes. She seems almost lost. She quickly gets on the clothes Lanie managed to rustle up and heads back to the waiting room. When they return, everyone is still in the same place as before. Kate glances at the clock and sees that they have only been at the hospital for an hour but it feels like a lifetime of worry.

Esposito returns about thirty minutes later with news on the car accident.

'What did you find out Espo?'

'The driver that hit Castle's car was drunk with over five times the alcohol limit in his blood,' he states angrily.

'Did they get him?' Kate asks strongly.

'Yeah, he at least did the decent thing and called the ambulance instead of charging off. Castle's car was forced off the road and into a ditch whereas the drunk driver got away with just a few scratches and bruises.'

'Is he going to prison?' Alexis asks in a hoarse voice due to the crying and lack of speaking.

Esposito replies, 'Yeah, he is in custody now and is waiting to find out all the charges. He is definitely going to go away for a long time though. I will make sure of it.'

Kate doesn't respond to any of Esposito's further comments as she can't believe that the reason that her beautiful day was ruined and her husband to be is fighting for his life is due to a drunk driver. The universe has not been fair to her and Castle at all. She spends the rest of the time waiting for news in her own little world trying to think of her future with Castle and praying that she will be able to live it.

Finally, there was a knock on the door and a middle aged man stepped in wearing scrubs.


	3. Chapter 3

Kate, Alexis and Martha all rushed to their feet in order to approach the doctor.

'Family of Richard Castle.' The doctor asked.

'Yes, that's us,' both Martha and Alexis replied hastily eager to find out about Castle. Kate remained quiet as she was terrified about what she was about to hear.

'Ok,' the doctor said, 'Mr Castle was brought into the ER with multiple injuries. The most serious of which was a head injury causing a build-up of blood in the brain. We had to perform emergency surgery in order to try to release the pressure in the brain. We were able to do so but there may have been a large amount of brain damage.'

With this news the three women opened there mouths in shock. 'What does that mean?' Alexis asked in a nervous voice.

'It means that Mr Castle is on life support at the moment and is still in critical condition. We are going to perform some scans to assess the damage and to find out when or whether he is going to wake up.'

'What do you mean by whether?' Alexis hurriedly asks.

'Well, depending on the extent of the damage we are unsure as to whether your father will wake up because it may be too severe for him to do so.'

Martha once more takes an assertive role while the younger women continue to look horrified. 'When will we be able to see him?'

The doctor answers, 'we have just performed a few more tests and scans in order to assess the damage and he is now being moved to the intensive care unit. I will send someone down to bring you to see him when he is settled and come to speak to you with the results of the tests.'

'Ok, thank you doctor.' Martha replies.

The doctor then heads out of the room leaving the women to their own thoughts. Alexis starts asking questions to Martha about her Dad and whether she thinks he will be ok. Kate instead shakily sits down in the chair and places her head in her hands as she begins to pray that Castle will wake up. She needs time to take in what the doctor has just said before she can begin discussing it.

It is another ten minutes before a nurse comes down to tell them that they can see Castle. Alexis and Martha rush ahead with the nurse whilst Kate walks slowly behind, scared of what she may see in his room. Lanie is at her side quickly and holding her hand in order to guide her through the endless corridors until they reach room 147. Alexis and Martha have already entered and she can hear them talking to Castle. Kate is frozen on the spot because she doesn't want to see Castle so broken because he is always the strong one when she is vulnerable.

'Kate, you can do this.' Lanie said reassuringly, 'he is going to look rough and beaten up but he is still alive and that is what is important. He needs you to be with him.'

'I know Lanie.' Kate whispers as she grasps the door handle and pushes it open slowly. Her breath is taken away when she sees Castle's head covered in gauze and bandages. His left arm is also strapped in a cast up to the shoulder and his face is badly bruised and swollen. Lanie places a hand on Kate's back to encourage her further into the room. She heads to the single chair on the right side of the room and when she is seated she gently rubs the back of Castle's hand. Lanie then silently leaves the room.

'Hey Dad, I just need you to know that we are all here for when you wake up and that I love you so much so you need to wake up.' Alexis pleads. 'Although I don't tell you this all the time, I do love you and I need you, ok, so you've got to wake up for me.'

Kate sits there steadily rubbing her thumb in random patterns along Castle's exposed arm thinking about what she wants to say to him. She feels worried speaking to him in the presence and Martha and Alexis because she doesn't like showing her vulnerable side to other people. Castle is the only one she ever wants to open up to.

Martha then speaks, 'Hey kiddo, you are not looking too great at this moment in time and I am sure Gina and Paula won't be impressed by the cast on your arm if it means you can't write. I don't care if you can't write due to your arm, I just need you to wake up so that I can tell you how proud I am of you and how much I love you.'

A knock on the door broke the unanswered conversation with Castle as a nurse entered.

'I'm afraid to say that visiting hours are almost over. I will allow you all to stay until the doctor gets back to you with the test results but then I must insist that you all leave.' Kate is about to argue back but the nurse continues. 'You will be able to see him again from 9 tomorrow.'

Kate speaks up angrily, 'No, I am a detective with the NYPD and I need to stay with Castle in order to see if he is ok. If you are not happy with this decision then I will happily ring the mayor and inform him of the lack of care shown to your patient.'

The nurse looked astounded and Martha and Alexis smiled brightly at Kate. 'Fine, but I am going to have to restrict it to just one visitor at a time.' The nurse replies.

'Thank you,' Kate answers. A small smile appears on Kate's face as she knew she had a small victory. She never liked using contacts to overrule people but she was desperate to stay with Castle. Kate didn't think that she could spend the night away from him because she needed to see him with her own eyes. She just hoped that Martha would be able to persuade Alexis to let Kate be the one to stay the night.

A little while later the same doctor that spoke to them previously arrived at Castle's room.

'I have some good news for you guys. It looks like we were able to control the brain bleed and most of the damage appears superficial. This means that Mr Castle is likely to wake up in two to three days allowing time for healing. With brains we never really know what to expect so there may be specific cognitive deficiencies that we will find out when he wakes. It also may take slightly longer or shorter for him to wake up but overall there are positive signs.'

A broad smile floods across Alexis' face and both Martha and Kate thank the doctor before he leaves.


	4. Chapter 4

Martha, Kate and Alexis all hug each other tightly and breathe sighs of relief. Kate is still a bit wary as she is unsure of the condition that Castle will be in when he wakes up. She knows, however, that she will still love him and care for him the way that he has always done for her no matter what difficulties he may have to face.

Martha declares, 'Alexis, you and I should go home and rest back at the house. We need to check that everything has been sorted out and we can come right back here tomorrow morning.'

'But Grams I want to stay with Dad.' Alexis whines.

'Kate can stay with Richard tonight because she looks like she can't let him out of sight and she will call if anything happens.' Martha explains.

'Kate, do you promise to call?' Alexis asks.

'I promise that I will call you if anything at all happens overnight.' Kate states.

'Ok, I'll go. We need to pack a bag and bring it for Dad when we come back tomorrow.'

'Thank you.' Kate replies gratefully almost as a whisper.

Before they leave, both Martha and Alexis place a gentle kiss on Castle's forehead, tell him they love him and wish him well. 'See you tomorrow,' Kate calls out as they leave.

Now it was Kate and Rick alone, Kate felt that she could release all of the emotions she had been holding in in front of his family. She raised her hand to swipe the hair off his forehead and gently placed a kiss on his forehead, cheeks and eyelids before she sat back down in the plastic seat that would be her bed for the night.

'Rick, please don't scare me like that again. I thought that you might be dead. I don't know if I would ever get over that.'

She began rubbing circles on the back of his palm as a few tears scurried down her cheeks. Kate quickly brushed them away. 'I have never been this scared in my whole life. I was terrified and it was so much worse than when I thought I would die when I stood on that bomb. I don't think I could ever live without you.'

Kate takes a deep heaving breath. 'You have to wake up Rick, so we can get married and live the rest of our lives together. I need you by my side.'

Kate continues to whisper pleas and words of love to Rick for the next hours. The night nurse, Sarah, had provided Kate with some food and a blanket to make her more comfortable but it didn't help much as the plastic chair was rigid. Kate's eyes were beginning to drift shut but she continued to fight them in order to stay awake in case anything happened to Rick.

By 3AM, Kate had drifted into a light sleep but this was short lived as nightmares plagued her thoughts. Each one different but she always saw Rick calling out for her to help him but her never being able to get there. She would wake abruptly in a panic that he was dead with tears pouring down her cheeks and heaving breaths until she saw his chest rise and fall steadily to calm her fears. However, he was never able to offer her the comfort that he had previously given her in the past from her nightmares. Kate wished that he could scoop her up into his arms and hold her until she calmed and fell back asleep.

That night Kate probably got about two hours of sleep even though she was exhausted from the day's events including the excitement of the wedding and the horror of the car accident.

Kate did not try to redo her makeup and hair in the morning because she knew that she had no-one to impress. She did send a text to Lanie, Esposito and Ryan informing them on Castle's condition so they wouldn't feel ignored.

During morning rounds the doctor read Castle's chart from the previous night and was very pleased to say that there was no deterioration in Castle's condition.

Kate once more thanked him and went to pour herself another cup of coffee to keep her going for the next couple of hours. Kate tastes the coffee and smiles to herself _'this is worse than a monkey peed in battery acid coffee, Castle.'_

Waiting for Martha and Alexis to arrive, Kate's thoughts drift to what she would be doing if yesterday hadn't been so horrendous. She pictures her and Castle waking up in the Hamptons house glowing with post wedding bliss. They were supposed to be heading to a private island today. Kate looks back at Castle and promises herself that her and Castle are going to go there soon.

Upon Martha and Alexis' arrival, Kate explains how there has been no change in Castle's condition overnight and that the doctor was happy to see no deterioration.

'Kate did you get any sleep last night?' Alexis asks worriedly once she finds out that her Dad is still critical but stable. Kate looks terrible with deep and dark circles beneath her eyes, matted hair and crumpled clothing.

'I'm fine Alexis,' Kate replies. Martha smiles ruefully and slightly shakes her head. She knows she isn't going to get anything more from Katherine. Kate always hides when she is struggling as she thinks that it makes her look weak.

Martha suggests, 'Kate, why don't you head home and have a nap and a quick shower?'

Kate looks at her in horror with wide eyes. There was no way that she leaving Castle's side for that long even if she was forced out of the building. She shakes her head resolutely.

'No Martha, I'm going to stay here in case anything changes. I want to be here if he wakes up.'

Martha concedes easily but she will try again later if Kate doesn't get some proper sleep and rest. Instead all three settle into quiet conversation about their favourite things about Castle to try to inject some happiness in the situation and to avoid an awkward silence.


	5. Chapter 5

The day continues with pretty much the same theme. There is a lot of hope on display from Martha and Alexis, and Kate enjoys their company as she waits for Rick to open his eyes.

There is discussion about transferring Rick to New York Presbyterian Hospital in order to make it easier for him to have visitors and for Alexis and Martha to still be able to organise their college work and drama school respectively. They speak to the doctor when he next comes round and he agrees that they will be able to arrange the transfer for the next morning.

Ryan, Esposito and Lanie all arrive at the hospital around lunchtime informing Kate that they are going to be heading back to Manhattan this afternoon to get back to work the next day. They each speak to Castle individually.

Esposito is the first one to speak to Castle. 'Hey bro, I just need you to know that we are all pulling for you and praying for your speedy recovery. Well, maybe not too speedy as I would like to take the Ferrari for a few spins once you've woken up.' Esposito shrugs and his smile slowly diminishes into a more serious expression. 'Castle, you need to be ok because I don't think Kate is going to be ok if you're not. I really don't want to have to try and pick up the pieces of her heart if you don't make it. See you later.' Esposito has always been overly protective of Kate just like a big brother.

Next in is Ryan who seems to be less averse to hiding his feelings. 'Hi Castle, I'm just going to tell you that Jenny and I are really sorry that you and Beckett didn't get your perfect wedding but I know that you are going to rearrange it and it will be even more special. Also Sarah Grace really wants her 'uncle' Rick to wake up so that she can play fairy princess tea party again. I'm a dedicated father but I will not put on fairy wings and a tiara.' Kevin takes a deep breath, 'we just all want to see you back up on your feet soon and we love you, ok.'

Finally in is Lanie. She begins jokingly, 'Writer boy you need to wake up soon or I will have to hurt you in ways that you don't even know you can hurt.' Lanie then gets very serious. 'Castle, you can't leave Kate. She has put her heart on the line and I have never seen her as happy as she was yesterday preparing to get married. You know as well as I do that if you go she will build a fortress around her fragile heart so strong that it will be almost impenetrable. Please just wake up for her and quickly because I'm tired of dieting to fit into my maid of honour dress.' Lanie ends with a smile and a quick goodbye.

Between each one of the discussions with Castle, Kate had walked up to Castle's door and stared through the window to check to see if he was still breathing. This was the longest she had been away from him since the accident and she is so paranoid that something might happen while she is out of the room. Kate knows that this is not normal behaviour but does not have the heart to stop looking.

Before her colleagues leave they each grasp Beckett in a tight hug and confirm that she can call them anytime if she needs anything at all and they will be there. They also explain that they want to be kept updated on Castle's condition.

The rest of the day in Castle's room, Martha works on writing a script for her drama school whilst Alexis was completing a few assignments to be handed in at college.

Kate sat mainly in silence deep in thought. Her thoughts were fluttering from her favourite Castle moments to pessimistic considerations of what might happen. She was finding it very hard to trust what the doctor was saying as she liked being in control.

When it came to tea, Kate only picked at her food despite having eaten nothing for breakfast and only half a sandwich for lunch. Martha cast a concerned glance to Kate.

'Katherine, please eat or you may get sick. Richard would not want that.'

Kate replies ashamed, 'I know Martha, I'm just so worried that I feel so queasy when I eat and I'm worried I won't hold it down.'

'Darling, come here,' Martha stands and opens her arms for the younger woman. Kate cautiously steps towards Martha. When she reached Martha she is grasped tightly within the circle of her arms. Kate remains quite rigid within her hold.

Martha speaks reassuringly, 'Katherine, the doctor believes that Richard will wake within the next couple of days and we are going to be right here when he does with all the support he needs.'

Kate nods and relaxes a bit more into the hug. 'Thank you Martha. For everything.' Martha releases her grip and places a gentle kiss on Kate's forehead before she returns to her seat. Kate takes several more bites of her food before she places it down and curls up on the chair with the blanket and places her hand carefully on top of Rick's.

Within a few minutes Kate has drifted off into a light sleep due to sheer exhaustion.

While Kate is asleep, Martha and Alexis agree that Kate is not comfortable with leaving Castle's side for the night so she will stay here tonight. Therefore, when the nurse enters the room to inform them that visiting hours are over, they both quietly pack up their belongings and write a note to Kate explaining where they have gone.

Before they leave, Alexis whispers, 'I love you Dad. See you tomorrow.' She places a quick kiss on his head and turns towards the door.

Martha also says, 'Love you kiddo,' and gently squeezes Castle's foot from the end of the bed.

They both knew that they were going to have to force Kate to go home at some point tomorrow whether she wanted to or not.


	6. Chapter 6

Kate wakes due to another nightmare and checks the clock. It reads only 1:32 AM. She bows her head and laughs sarcastically. 'Looks like I can't sleep properly without you. But don't think that I will be telling you that when you wake up because your ego may double in size.'

Kate begins to fidget with her engagement on her left hand. 'I really wanted to have another ring on my hand right about now.' She winds the ring around her finger repeatedly, watching as the diamond glimmers with what little light is coming through the window at this time in the morning. 'I wanted it more than anything in the world.'

'I know it wasn't your fault Castle but it doesn't stop it hurting so much. Martha and Alexis have been so supportive and considerate letting me be the one to stay with you overnight but I don't know if I would have been able to cope if they had decided otherwise.'

Tears begin to well in Kate's eyes. 'I just don't know what to do without you.' Kate's voice stutters. She moves around to the chair on the opposite side of the bed so she can place her hand on Castle's chest and feel his beating heart. 'I'm lost. I need you by my side.'

Kate then decides that she is going to read some of the books that Martha and Alexis had brought with them yesterday knowing that she isn't going to get any more sleep that night. She briefly glanced through the books uninterestedly until she spotted the one she was looking for. NIKKI HEAT. Kate had read this book so many times but she wasn't going to tell Castle that. It gave her so much comfort because it was as if Castle was speaking directly to her. She reorganises herself on the chair and places her feet on one of the other chairs in the room and flicks to the first page.

By the time Martha and Alexis arrive in the morning, Kate is almost finished with the book. Martha had been hoping that they would walk in on a sleeping Kate because she knew how much she needed to rest.

'Morning Katherine.' Martha says.

Kate looks up from the book at Martha. 'Morning Martha. There was no change overnight. He could wake up anytime now.' Kate says almost excitedly.

Martha doesn't have to look hard to see the dark and deep circles beneath Kate's eyes. Also, it appears that her cheekbones stand more prominently and Kate's complexion is generally paler.

'Hi Kate,' Alexis says as she walks into the room. 'Hi Dad.' Alexis addresses her father with a quick kiss on the forehead. Kate offers a weak smile to Alexis.

'The doctor should be around any minute now to do the final checks and tests to see if Castle is ok to be transferred.' Kate states.

'That's good,' Alexis nods. 'I think Dad will be glad to be recovering near home.'

'Oh, Katherine, I nearly forgot. Here is some breakfast.' Martha says brightly as she grasps a paper bag from her handbag and extends it towards Kate.

'Thanks Martha.' Kate says quietly, knowing full well that she won't be eating all of the breakfast because she just is not hungry. Kate puts it to the side and returns to her book saying that she will eat it in a minute once she had finished the chapter that she was on.

Martha shakes her head disappointedly. She knew Kate was tough and stubborn but Martha Rodgers could be just as stubborn, if not more, if she wanted to be. Last night Martha had made a phone call to Jim.

_The phone rang several times before Jim answers._

_'Martha, is everything ok, has Rick woken up? Oh, please don't tell me he hasn't made it.'_

_Jim was about to continue rambling before Martha broke into his speech. 'Rick is fine, still not awake but he is still stable.'_

_Martha hears the sigh of relief that Jim releases at the news. Jim replies, 'That's good.'_

_Martha speaks concisely, 'I'm calling about Katherine. She hasn't left the hospital since Richard was admitted and I can tell she is barely eating and sleeping.'_

_Jim sighs and Martha can almost picture him shaking his head. 'Katie has always been very stubborn.'_

_'Don't I know it,' Martha laughs._

_'Yeah, she was a lot of effort for me and Johanna, especially when she became a teenager.'_

_'I can imagine, Richard was the same. He drove me round the bend sometimes.' Martha and Jim both share a laugh._

_'Martha, can I ask what you would like me to do?'_

_Martha replies, 'Would you be able to come down to the hospital tomorrow once Richard has been transferred to New York Presbyterian and try to persuade Katherine to go home even if it is just for a few hours. She just needs to have a shower, some proper food and some proper sleep.'_

_'I'll try my best. Do you want to give me a ring tomorrow when Rick has been transferred?' Jim asks._

_'Thank you Jim.' Martha states gratefully, 'I'll see you tomorrow.'_

_'Bye Martha.' Jim replies and then finishes the phone call._

Martha wasn't sure how Kate was going to react to her father being called to persuade her to go home but it was the only thing she could think of. Martha knew that it was what Castle would want if it meant Kate was living healthily while he couldn't keep an eye out on her.

Later that morning the doctor confirmed that Castle was stable enough for the transfer so Kate, Martha and Alexis packed up all of their things and got ready to go.

The journey back to Manhattan would be the longest time Kate would be away from Castle as she wasn't allowed to ride with him in the ambulance. Kate decided to try to ease the tension of being separated by concentrating on driving Martha and Alexis back to Manhattan.

The anxiety Kate was feeling was visible to both Martha and Alexis as she gripped the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles turned white and her posture was very tense. Kate just wishes that the journey will be quicker and that Castle is ok without her there.

When they reach New York Presbyterian hospital Castle has already been set up in his room and Kate starts getting comfortable on the sofa along the side wall.

Martha knew Jim would be arriving very soon and that Kate was most likely not going to be happy with what they were asking of her but she hopes that Kate is willing to listen.


	7. Chapter 7

About half an hour later there is a knock on the door. Martha goes to answer it and welcomes Jim inside knowing full well the reason for his visit. Kate was just fiddling with a thread on Castle's gown before her dad walked in but when Kate sees that it is Jim, she gets to her feet and grips him in a firm hug.

'Dad, what are you doing here?' Kate asks puzzled.

'Martha told me that Rick was being transferred here and I wanted to see how he was doing. Well, how all of you are doing.' Jim looks quickly to Martha and Alexis but focuses most of his attention on his daughter.

'Well, Doctor Reynolds here says that the signs are positive and agrees with the previous doctor that Castle could wake anytime from now.' Kate informs him.

Jim knows that his daughter doesn't know the real reason for his visit and is likely to blow up if she finds out that they have been plotting behind her back.

'That's good Katie, really good.' Jim inputs. Kate allows a small smile to appear on her face because what her father is saying is true and gives her a bit more confidence.

Martha suddenly speaks up, 'Alexis, Darling, why don't you and I go down to the cafeteria and pick up some food. My stomach is growling and it has only just hit 11.'

'Ok Grams,' Alexis replies, 'See you in a bit Kate and Mr Beckett.'

'Alexis, please call me Jim.'

'Ok, Jim.' Alexis says hesitantly and awkwardly as she leaves the room following Martha.

* * *

><p>Now it left just Kate and Jim in the room. 'How are you doing Katie?' Jim asks.<p>

'Well, Rick could wake any minute and we won't know about the brain damage until that…' Jim halts Kate by placing a hand on her knee.

'Katie, I asked how are YOU doing.' Jim emphasizes the you to try to make his point clear.

'Oh, I'm fine.' Kate replies quickly and turns her head to look at Rick to avoid her father's piercing gaze.

'Katie, I know you. You are not fine.' Jim says resolutely.

Kate doesn't respond straight away but Jim sits her out knowing that she is thinking what to say.

Kate begins angrily, 'No, Dad. I am not fine! And do you know why? My fiancé was in a car crash on his way to OUR wedding. I thought he was going to die. I keep thinking he may die. And I can't do anything about it except sit here.' By the end of Kate's tirade, the words are much quieter and sorrowful and Jim gets to his feet in order to give Kate a comforting hug.

'I know Katie.' Jim offers in the hope that it gives Kate some comfort. 'I understand.'

'Katie, you need to look after yourself too.'

Kate looks at him surprised. 'Dad, I am looking after myself.'

Jim shakes his head. 'Martha has told me that you haven't left Rick's side except to go to the toilet or when forced to do so.' Jim chanced a glance to Kate. She was looking angrily at him. 'You haven't been eating or sleeping properly either.' Jim finishes.

'Dad, I can look after myself. I don't need you or Martha keeping an eye out on me. I'm not a baby anymore.' Kate states resolutely. She is trying her best to not get angry.

'I know you can Sweetheart. It's just that I think it might be good if you head to the loft, have a shower, eat a proper meal and get a few hours of sleep.'

That riles Kate up. 'Dad, no! I need to stay here.' Kate quickly grasps Castle's hand. 'I need to be here with Castle. He needs me,' her eyes pleading to her Dad to drop the subject, 'and I need him.'

'We're just trying to look after you.' Jim protests. He knows he still has one secret weapon to use against Kate that he thinks will persuade her to go home.

Jim states, 'Would Castle want you to be acting this way?'

A silence forms between them. Kate twists in her seat to hold Castle's hand within both of hers. Jim can see that she is torn up inside. Kate is biting strongly on her bottom lip and her eyebrows are furrowed due to her concentration.

Quietly, Kate speaks up, 'I just need to know that he is safe and well.'

Jim replies, 'I know Katie. I can stay here if you want and you can call anytime for an update. Just the rest of the day to try and rest and build up your strength for when Castle is awake.' Jim can see that Kate is still weighing up the decision in her head. 'I promise I will call if anything at all happens. Martha, Alexis and I will all be here and we will never leave him on his own in the room.'

Jim knows that there is not much else he can say to try and persuade Kate. It is up to her now.

Kate finally makes her decision. 'Ok, I will try and go to the loft to eat and sleep. However, I am coming back whenever I want if I need to see Rick, whether that be in several hours or as soon as I leave the hospital, and I will pack a bag full of everything I need to stay at the hospital with Castle.

Jim smiles briefly, 'Thank you Katie.' He knows that it isn't exactly perfect but it is better than nothing.

Kate gets up and gathers her belongings. Once everything is collected she stands next to Castle's bed and lean forward to place a kiss on his cheek. 'Rick, please don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. I'm going to try and go home because I know that that is what you would want me to. Please be ok when I get back. I love you, ok.' Kate rests her forehead above Castle's for a brief moment and slowly turns to leave.

Before exiting she tells her father, 'Dad, keep your phone with you at all times and call me no matter what.'

'I promise, bye Katie.' Jim answers.


	8. Chapter 8

Kate steps slowly out of the room and leans against the door. She places her hands in front of her eyes in frustration at her weakness. 'You can do this Kate. You can go home. It's just for a few hours. Dad will call if something happens.' These thoughts keep rushing through her mind but only the 'It's what Castle would want,' actually got her to walk away from the hospital and into her squad car.

The drive to the loft passes by very quickly and Kate is mostly preoccupied by the New York traffic to think too much on what she has left behind.

When Kate walks into the lobby she smiles briefly at Eduardo and progresses towards the elevator. However, Eduardo quickly speaks up before Kate can go upstairs.

'Miss Beckett, I thought that you and Mr Castle were going to be away for a while?' He questions.

Kate drops her head and twists the ring around her finger trying to find the right words. She does very well in holding back the tears and replies, 'Yes Eduardo, we were but there was an accident and we couldn't make it.'

Kate keeps the answer short and simplified not wanting to discuss the matter further. Eduardo seems to understand. 'Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.'

Kate offers a weak smile and says 'thanks' before heading onto the elevator and riding it up to the loft.

When Kate enters she is quick to begin packing for a long stay in the hospital. She firstly packs a wash kit and then heads to pack some clothes. However, when Kate opens the closet and sees the two suitcases that she and Rick were going to take to their honeymoon she drops to the floor as her knees crumble beneath her.

Kate looks at the labels on the bags with their destination to the private island printed onto them and rubs them between her fingers. She closes her eyes and pictures Castle and herself sitting on a white sand beach with their toes dipping into the water. A few tears slip down her cheeks at what she has missed out on.

Kate quickly jumps up to get rid of those thoughts from her mind for fear of causing her more pain. Instead she walks around the suitcases to find some suitable clothes from the rest of the closet. She wants to keep her suitcase packed so that she can still hope that the honeymoon will be soon and that she will be Mrs Castle soon.

Once packed, Kate decides that she needs to have a shower but first checks her phone and turns it to maximum volume so she can hear it in the shower. Kate spends all of two minutes in the shower quickly washing herself and shampooing her hair. She is so fearful that she may miss a call from her father about an update about Castle.

Kate dries off and then proceeds to the bedroom. She knows that she needs to sleep or it will not be good for her health but she is scared of what may confront her if she closes her eyes. Castle was always the best person to provide her security in her sleep.

Kate tries to make do with his scent on the bedding by wrapping herself around his pillow and wearing one of his large shirts. As Kate lies there however, she can't stop the lingering worry that she may miss something by being at home.

Kate tries to distract herself but it is to no avail. The urge to check in on Castle is too much. Kate picks up her phone and dials her father. It rings several times before he picks up.

'Dad, is everything ok?' Kate asks urgently.

'Yes, everything is fine. Castle is still not awake but there has been no change. He is doing fine.'

Kate tries to take comfort from his words but she doesn't know if she can believe it without seeing it personally. 'Ok, thanks Dad.' Kate adds quickly then hangs up. She lays in bed for the next five minutes trying to decide what to do.

Kate tries to stop herself from getting back out of the bed and dressing into her own clothes but the need to be there with Castle is never-ending. She thought that she was strong and determined and could deal with being away from him but how wrong she was.

Kate manages to last only one hour in the loft before she begins making her way back to the hospital. She knew that sleep was not going to come so she may as well be by Castle's side instead of sitting at the loft doing nothing.

Kate promises herself on the way to the hospital that she will try to eat healthily and get as much sleep as possible because she knows that that is what everyone wants, especially Castle.

When Kate arrives back at the hospital only two hours since she vacated it she breathes a sigh of relief as she walks back into Castle's room. On the other hand, Martha, Alexis and Jim all look disappointed and truly empathetic for Kate when they see her return.

'Katie, why are you back already? I just called and said that Castle was doing fine,' Jim asks.

'I couldn't do it Dad. I couldn't stand being in the loft without him.' Kate replies softly. 'I tried. I tried as much as I could but I knew that I would not be able to sleep without Rick by my side.'

Before Jim can respond, Martha speaks, 'Thank you Katherine, for trying. I know that it is very difficult for you but Richard would be pleased that you were trying.'

Kate's eyes begin to well up with tears, 'I'm sorry that I couldn't do any better.' Kate apologises.

'No Katherine, I know that you would have tried your best and I can see that you have taken a shower so it wasn't a pointless endeavour,' Martha replies.

'I'm going to be better Martha. I'm going to eat properly and try to sleep, it's just that I'm going to do most of it here.' Martha smiles briefly as Kate continues. 'I don't want Rick to be disappointed with me.'

Alexis finally speaks, 'Dad won't be disappointed Kate, he just wants what is best for you. It's what we all want.' Alexis smiles at Kate and Kate returns it genuinely.

Kate then moves to sit down next to Alexis on the sofa and squeezes her hand before picking up a book to continue the wait.


	9. Chapter 9

The next few days progress in the same manner with Kate continuing to sit at Castle's bedside for the entirety of the day. Martha and Alexis both visit for an afternoon or morning but they have had a hard time rearranging their schedules to come and see Castle. They both make it there everyday and spend multiple hours with Castle hoping that he will wake up soon.

A week after Castle's car accident, Kate is getting beyond worried. The doctor had said he would wake up in several days so why is he not awake by now!

'Doctor Reynolds, why is Castle still not awake yet?' Kate asks assertively.

'Well Kate,' Dr Reynolds had gotten to know Kate due to the vast amount of time she is at the hospital and could clearly see that she was desperately in love with his patient. 'We're not entirely sure as to why Mr Castle is yet to wake but we are all still very confident that he will wake and be able to come off life support very soon.'

Kate had heard a very similar speech yesterday when she had also asked the same question.

'How long do you think?' Kate inquires.

'I'd say within the next one to two days. If he is yet to wake up by then then I will begin to worry about more serious damage.'

Kate nods and swallows deeply. 'Ok, thank you Dr Reynolds.'

'That's fine Kate. I'll arrange to do a further scan this afternoon to just check up on everything.' Dr Reynolds then heads out of the room to continue on his evening rounds.

Later that evening, Kate is holding Castle's hand within her own and whispering short prayers even though she is not usually a religious person. Suddenly Kate feels a twitch from within her hands and quickly looks down at her fingers. Another visible twitch of Castle's index finger has her getting to her feet to speak to Castle and be there when he opens his eyes.

'Hey Castle, can you try and open your eyes for me?' Kate pleads.

There is some twitching but his eyes remain closed. 'Rick, can you squeeze my hand if you can hear me?'

There is a gentle squeeze on Kate's slender fingers and Kate smiles broadly for the first time in a week. 'That's great Castle, can you try and open your eyes for me again. I've missed those baby blue eyes.' Kate quickly presses the call button to get assistance as she watches Castle's face closely.

Castle's eyelids begin to flutter and then he allows some light to get in. He quickly shuts them tightly as it is too bright for him.

Kate understands, 'Rick, I know the lights are bright but you will get used to them if you can open your eyes for a bit longer.' By this time Dr Reynolds and a nurse have entered the room and are moving around to the other side of the bed to restrain Castle if he tries to remove the breathing tube.

'Mr Castle, you are in the hospital and your fiancé is really wishing that you will open your eyes for her. Can you do that?' Dr Reynolds asks.

Slowly Castle opens his eyes and blinks quickly to clear them and to stop the blurred vision he is experiencing.

'Hey Castle.' Kate says with relief pouring out of those short two words. Her smile spreads wide across her face and a few tears tumble down her cheeks. Kate quickly swipes them away and rubs her hand along Rick's cheek.

Castle goes to speak but then begins coughing and choking on the breathing tube. Kate is lost as to what to do. Dr Reynolds speaks up sternly, 'Kate, try and calm him down so we can remove the tube.' Kate nods and then looks back to Castle.

Kate places her hands on Rick's shoulders and says 'Rick, look at me, ok, just look at me. Don't try and speak. The doctor is going to remove the tube really soon ok, you just need to act calmly, ok.' Castle nods briefly and a single tear drops down his cheek. Kate quickly rubs it away with the pad of her thumb. 'I love you Rick.'

The doctor proceeds to explain how he needs Rick to try to swallow as he removes the tube to make it easier and more comfortable. Kate can see the discomfort on Castle's face as the tube is removed but she is right there to kiss his lips as soon as his lips are free. The kiss is quick and Castle's lips are chapped but it still causes butterflies to flutter through Kate's whole body. Her smile lights up her whole face and Castle's smile mirrors Kate's.

'I love you Rick' Kate repeats.

Castle goes to reply but then suddenly Kate jolts awake.

Kate is at first confused and then looks at Castle's body lying still on the bed. The tube is still inserted in his mouth and his chest rises and falls with every breath.

Kate looks in horror and then curls up into a tight ball rocking herself gently. 'It was just a dream?' Kate utters under her breath as the tears fall rapidly at the disappointment. 'He hasn't woken up.' Kate's breaths come with heaving sobs as she lets what really just happens sink in. Castle still hasn't woken up.

This dream is so much worse than the nightmares she regularly has as it gave her hope and then when she woke that hope was ripped apart.

Kate moves to rest her head on Castle's chest and feels comforted by the regular beating.

Kate continued to listen and feel Castle's heartbeat until the sun began to rise. She was unable to fall asleep and instead just kept watch over Castle's almost motionless body.

'Please could you wake up soon? Please could you wake up for me?'

'I miss you so so much. And I love you more than anything in this world. I'm sorry I can't be strong for you. Everyone always thinks that I am the resilient one but you are. You are the person that makes me believe in myself. Just you Castle; so please wake up,' Kate pleads.

* * *

><p>That morning, Alexis and Martha walk into Castle's room and see Kate hunched over Castle's body in a clearly uncomfortable position in order for her to hear his heart beating. At first they couldn't tell if she was asleep but as they drew nearer they heard the continuous whisper of 'You promised me always. You promised me always.'<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

'You promised me always. You promised me always.'

Martha shares a brief glance with Alexis and then reaches forward to place a reassuring hand on Kate's back. Kate quickly jerks upright and stands face to face with Martha and Alexis. Kate's eyes are red-rimmed and bloodshot so Martha decides to pull her in for a tight hug.

Kate doesn't relax within the hold or even wrap her arms around Martha's waist. She just doesn't have the energy or heart to be comforted.

As Kate escapes Martha's grasp she goes to sit on the sofa by the wall.

Alexis moves to go and sit next to Kate. She sits right next to Kate and then turns her body towards the detective. What Alexis does next surprises both Kate and Martha.

Alexis places her right hand beneath Kate's chin and lifts Kate's downcast head upwards so she is looking directly into Alexis's eyes. Alexis still doesn't utter a word but moves her thumb over Kate's cheek to swipe away the drying tears. She rubs beneath the detective's eyes to remove the smudged eyeliner and tucks several of Kate's stray hairs behind her ears.

A few more tears escape Kate's eyes at the kind and gentle nature of Castle's daughter. 'Sorry,' Kate whispers, her voice very gravelly and hoarse.

'Kate, you've nothing to be sorry about. It's ok to be upset about Dad; it shows me how much you love him.' Alexis replies and Kate's lips upturn ever so slightly.

Alexis continues, 'did something happen last night?' Alexis asks.

Kate looks nervously at Castle, she has never really opened up to anyone other than Castle and Dr Burke about her nightmares. She knows that Castle will be very proud if she found comfort from Alexis in his absence.

'I had a dream last night,' Kate begins slowly. Alexis has her hand resting on Kate's knee but then Kate reaches down for it and they interlace their fingers. 'It was about your Dad. In the dream he started waking up and he was doing great. He could understand me and respond to questions and they removed the breathing tube.' Kate takes a deep breath. 'I told him I loved him and he was about to reply but… but…' Kate begins to struggle but Alexis gently squeezes Kate's hand to urge her to continue. 'But then I woke up and Castle wasn't awake.'

Alexis understands why they walked in on Kate in that manner this morning. She pulls Kate in for another hug but this time Kate tightens her hold on Alexis. They hold each other for about a minute but then break apart.

'Thank you Alexis.' Kate say truly gratefully.

'That's ok, we're family now. It's what family do.' Alexis says clearly.

The next few hours are spent quietly discussing Alexis' school work and Martha's drama school. Kate also heads down to the canteen briefly to pick up breakfast which pleases both Martha and Alexis enormously.

'Kate, do you want to try and sleep with us here. Then if you have any nightmares we can wake you up before they get too bad. We'll wake you if anything happens and when Dr Reynolds comes around.' Alexis asks.

Kate nods meagrely and then goes to lie on the couch with her legs scrunched up at the end. Alexis reaches across to run her fingers through Kate's hair soothingly. It is not long before Kate has drifted into a peaceful slumber. Alexis continues her ministrations for a while as it was also giving her comfort from being able to help the older woman.

Martha whispers quietly to Alexis, 'Your father would be very proud of you Darling. Not many people can get Katherine Beckett to sleep on request.' Alexis smiles brightly then picks up her textbook to begin studying.

The next two days pass by relatively quickly and Kate can barely contain the tension she is feeling as to why Castle has not woken up. She has spent time looking up the specialists in this field of medicine and any techniques that are available to encourage Castle to wake up.

Kate has already organised with both Martha and Alexis that if Dr Reynolds doesn't have a plan to proceed with Castle's care as he is unsure then they will call one of the specialists to come down.

Dr Reynolds still doesn't understand the reason for Castle not waking up yet and agrees that an expert in the field may be beneficial. Kate spends the next three hours on the phone trying to arrange for Dr Wilding to fly from Seattle soon and review Castle's case. Kate has to use some of Rick's connections and her badge to persuade him.

Dr Wilding is set to fly to New York in two days so in the meantime, Kate tries out one of the techniques she has found online: Music.

Firstly, Kate begins by creating a playlist of all of Castle's favourite songs and plays them throughout the afternoon. Kate remembers times when she would come back to the loft after work and hear the music from down the corridor. She would walk in and see Castle playing the songs on Guitar Hero whilst he jumped around and pretended that he was actually on a stage.

When this fails Kate decides that he needs to possibly hear a familiar voice too. The next day, Kate asks her Dad to pick up her guitar from her apartment.

Kate decides that to save her from any embarrassment she won't sing in front of Martha or Alexis. Kate had never told Castle that she could play the guitar. He knew that she could sing a bit because he had heard her in the shower one morning. Instead of mocking her, he kissed her sweetly as she stepped out of the shower and told her that her voice was beautiful.

Kate sings sweet lullabies whilst playing the guitar and sits right next to his head so it will be easier for him to hear her.

As a surprise for after the wedding, Kate had learnt how to play 'In my veins' by Andrew Belle on the guitar and she thought that this may be the most effective song as it was so important to the two of them.

Unfortunately, none of the music seemed to work but Kate kept hopeful as Dr Wilding would be arriving the next morning.


End file.
